Worship Live Livid with Audience

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA – Recently at North Central University, the worship band designated to lead music during the majority of the mandatory chapel services has grown increasingly fed up with their audience. “They just don’t take us literally when we say to hold the applause ‘til we’re finished with the song. When everyone tries clapping during the song, it just throws the groove off,” explains the Worship Live bassist.

Another problem that has arisen for Worship Live is it seems most people are not even paying attention to them. “Half of the concert hall has their eyes closed while they’re reaching out to us. The support is nice but honestly, we want all your attention not just half of it,” added their drummer.

Worship Live is a group of students plucked from the ranks of mainly Music Majors to perform almost everyday at 11:00 AM at the Trask Worship Center on the NCU campus. They represent the best of the best at NCU, if not just the ones with the most time on their hands. This lack of enthusiasm towards their performances has become a growing concern for the members and organizers of the group.

“With the record industry in such a state of distress, live shows are the best way to judge if your music is actually reaching people. CD sales and Billboard charts are almost meaningless.” A North Central Music Professor states. “If Worship Live isn’t getting their support during Chapel they may as well just forget about getting the funding to cut a record this year.”

So with the fate of this year’s Worship Live up in the air, the group has been scouring the internet and Christian Book stores for all the Hillsong CD’s they can find. The acoustic guitarist explains, “We have to hit ‘em hard, and nothing does that like a song written in Australia that is extremely overused during the summer camp season.” – BERNSTEIN

Student Can’t Hack It As A Rock Star, Releases Worship Album

TRASK WORSHIP CENTER, NORTH CENTRAL UNIVERSITY, MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In a surprise move no one expected, another North Central Music Performance major will release a worship music album. After several unsuccessful attempts at creating legitimate music, Senior Michael Salvinski plans on recording what he is calling, “an acoustic cross between U2 and Steven Curtis Chapman.”

Salvinski, who started writing music for music’s sake in high school while teaching himself guitar, first tasted worship music recognition at his high school youth group back home in Madison, WI where he gained popularity for being able to “play that guitar solo just like the Sonicflood version.” However, it wasn’t until Salvinski burned all of his non-Christian music at a youth group bonfire his junior year of high school, that he recognized the potential for Christian music stardom. “After I destroyed everything from my collection not produced by Sparrow Records, I discovered all sorts of Christian bands that copied the artists I’d liked before. There was a Christian version of Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band, and The Counting Crows.”

Salvinski’s unprecedented landmark decision, which is all the rage these days, came after an especially uplifting Sunday morning church service when Salvinski led the congregation in a rousing Hillsong ballad. “That’s when I realized it was much easier to play music for church audiences, since little things win them over. All you have to do is play with your eyes closed and improvise lyrics like ‘you are everything’ and ‘all I want is you.’

Salvinski’s new album, “God Is Higher” featuring hit single, “You Are Everything” is set to release next fall. – Woodward