Text Message Conversation During Chapel

ME: “Alright tell me why the girl sitting next to me in chapel is wearing leather gloves, holding a sheet of bubble wrap, and forcing out laughter when the speaker says anything resembling a joke?”

OTHER: “Weird”

ME: “Really. She keeps clapping too. Like really loud leather glove claps. The really distracting kinds.”

ME: “The speaker just said shit. And now she’s clapping again.”

ME: “She is wearing leather gloves inside. But she has huge holes in her jeans. I’m really at a loss.”

ME: “She keeps picking up and setting down the bubble wrap. Looking at it like a fisherman looks at a fresh catch. Like she is looking forward to what she has in store for it. I may try to rescue it and set it free. I’m scared for the bubble wrap.”

OTHER: “Haha. Take a secret picture. I wanna see her.”

ME: “She looks normal. She just isn’t. I don’t think I could pull it off. Sry.”

OTHER: “Hmmm…. Oh well.”