2 Self-Righteous Seniors Create NCU Satire Blog

A screenshot from the stuck-up students’ website

NORTH CENTRAL UNIVERSITY, MINNEAPOLIS – For the last 4 months, 2 disillusioned North Central seniors using childish pseudonyms have been posting fake news stories on an online blog about the Bible college they attend. The Northern Plight (the name itself is a lampoon on the previous name for the school newspaper, The Northern Light) is “a satyrical news blog in the tradition of The Onion and Lark News” according to it’s creators and attempts to parody various aspects of college life using chincy humor and simplistic headlines.

Hiding behind gimmicky identities derived from Peanuts characters and veiled Watergate references, the authors have attempted to avoid taking any responsibility for the sucker punch muck raking they dish out.

“Frankly, the whole blog is just one big valiant attempt to get attention,” says co-editor Linus Woodward. “I’m hoping when it’s all done and people finally figure out who we are, I’ll get a girlfriend out of this thing.”

“Since my freshmen year I’ve had a huge chip on my shoulder,” adds Schroeder Bernstein. “This is my way of getting back at the institution I blame for all my financial and relationship problems.”

Whether or not the authors’ shallow attempts at original satire and overly preachy articles ever amount to anything useful has yet to be seen. But it appears, at least for this year, nothing will stop these misdirected almost college grads from releasing their pent up passive aggresive pet peeves into the anonymous quagmire of the internet. – WOODWARD