U2 Cover Band Surpises NCU

U2

TRASK ENERGY CENTER, MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Tuesday morning, while students were slipping into their respective seats for chapel, Professor Jeff Grenell and his U2 cover band were slipping into character. “It’s not an easy thing, Bono and The Edge are icons.” Grenell explained before the set. “You can’t just turn it on and off, I have to prepare at least four hours before every gig.”

The NCU students in attendance at the Trask Word and Worship Center had no idea that Tuesday was a surprise chapel. Most expected another 15-20 minutes of Hillsong originals followed by 30 minutes of cell phone bowling while a random professor drabbed on about “your generation”. The opening guitar line from “Where The Streets Have No Name” would quickly change that.

The surprise chapel appearance of Professor Grenell’s extra curricular pastime also boosted the overall chapel attendance Tuesday. The final tally was a 15% ratings boost over last year’s same date, but the ratings push still fell 50% short of this semester’s first day of Chapel.

The cover band ran through most all of U2’s greatest hits, including “Pride (In the Name of Love)”, “Beautiful Day”, and finished with a heart stopping rendition of “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”. For the encore, Grenell came back on stage and sang an a capella version of “Sunday Bloody Sunday”. Sources say that there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

The concert ended on a downer though when Grenell stepped too far into character and got a little bit preachy. All in all it was a successful day for both Grenell and NCU, expect to see this amazing cover band a few more times before the year is through.

-BERNSTEIN

Text Message Conversation During Chapel

ME: “Alright tell me why the girl sitting next to me in chapel is wearing leather gloves, holding a sheet of bubble wrap, and forcing out laughter when the speaker says anything resembling a joke?”

OTHER: “Weird”

ME: “Really. She keeps clapping too. Like really loud leather glove claps. The really distracting kinds.”

ME: “The speaker just said shit. And now she’s clapping again.”

ME: “She is wearing leather gloves inside. But she has huge holes in her jeans. I’m really at a loss.”

ME: “She keeps picking up and setting down the bubble wrap. Looking at it like a fisherman looks at a fresh catch. Like she is looking forward to what she has in store for it. I may try to rescue it and set it free. I’m scared for the bubble wrap.”

OTHER: “Haha. Take a secret picture. I wanna see her.”

ME: “She looks normal. She just isn’t. I don’t think I could pull it off. Sry.”

OTHER: “Hmmm…. Oh well.”

The Good Times

One month after graduation and our traffic is way down but I couldn’t stand leaving a reader submitted headline collection as our final post.

Thank you to everyone who made the Northern Plight awesome. We’ll leave the site up here for a while as archives for anyone that wants to check it out. Read this post or this post to get a clearer picture of how and why we’ve ended.

Reader Submitted: HEADLINES of the week

A very special thank you to the first contributers! Please keep up the good work. While posting the guest submissions the front page headline popped into my head. So they aren’t entirely Reader Submitted, but I’m a reader too, so let’s let it slide. Enjoy.

front page:

SENIOR GOES BACK TO THE HEART OF WORSHIP, SLAUGHTERS LAMB DURING PRAISE GATHERING

local:

5 EAST DL TAKES “AWESOME DUMP”, FLOOR UNITES AROUND IT

sports:

TRACK STAR TWISTS ANKLE ON SQUIRREL IN ELLIOT PARK, SQUIRRELS OUTRAGED AT FAILED ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

lifestyles:

NCU STUDENT CAUGHT WEARING CROWN T-SHIRT, LEFT NAKED IN MILLER HALL BASEMENT

travel:

JUNIOR CONSIDERING TRANSFERRING ASKS SELF W.W.J.D.?

technology:

TEXT MESSAGE FROM ‘GOD’ JUST DRUNK HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND BEING AN ASS

opinion:

“I can actually hear engagement rings sliding onto ring fingers.” – Celibate Senior

The Beginning of the End of TNP

Hello friends, supportive readers, and those of you afraid of our motives because you’ve still neglected to gander at our About Us page. I have some good news and some bad news. I will present you with the bad news first. This semester will be the last semester that The Northern Plight will be an active blog. After a long conversation with Woodward I have decided that I want TNP to end on a high note. I’d rather burn out than fade away.

I cannot stress how much I have appreciated all of the visits and comments you guys have left. This blog has made this year one of the happiest and most fulfilling of my short 22 on this earth. Last July I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me I would be running a website that receives over 1,500 hits a day (for the last two months), had 117 posts, 1,055 reader comments, and over 100,000 total visits.

Now for the good news. For the last month of it’s existence, The Northern Plight is going to switch things around a bit. We want to hear from the readers. I want to encourage you to submit your own articles. We will accept any format, for example; News Snippets, Polls, Survival Guides, News Articles, and of course HEADLINES.

So it’s up to you to help us make this last month memorable. Depending on the response, I intend to post any and every submission. Thank you so much for the last year. Submit all articles to northernplight@gmail.com and let me know if you want to remain anonymous or use a pen name.

-Bernstein